In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
