P.S. I can't hear my feet
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
