I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
