last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
