scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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