I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
