you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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