well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
