He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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