I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
