I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
