I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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