I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i love accidental penises.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
