sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
