you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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