how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
