Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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