I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
