I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
