Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
