it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
