1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize