PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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