My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
