I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize