watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I touched a dick in church today
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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