Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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