remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize