there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
