I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
