You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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