Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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