I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
