32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
