They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
