I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
