maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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