Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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