i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There are leaves in my underwear?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
