Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
