She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
