Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
