her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
