Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
