my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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