I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
