drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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