doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
