Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
