The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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