He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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