Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
