maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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