i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize