Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
