I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
