I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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