Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i think i just lost a toe
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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