hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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