I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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