the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
