Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
