He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
