as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You pole danced in your parka.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize