Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
