Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize