Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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